Friday, September 05, 2008

Double Mint

John Ridley over at The Huffington Post has a amusing little piece on the double standard applied to Sen. Obama and Gov. Palin. Apparently Ridley is collecting what he calls "Palinisms" as a way to highlight said double standard. This is volume two of what he promises as a series of future columns:

"Before we start, I'd like to note that I intimated in Vol. 1 that English is a Latin based language. Hondorf was among a few others who pointed out that English is "primarily German based, yes, but it is really a hybrid of Germanic and Romantic languages . . . by the way, I am a redneck."

Clearly, none of us should judge a neck by its color.

A reminder, we're collecting Palinisms here, and over at That Minority If you've got 'em, send 'em.

Ready? Let's begin!

If you get 18 million people to vote for you in a national presidential primary, you're a "phoney." Get 100,000+ people to vote you governor of the 47th most populous state in the Union, you're "well loved."

SoyAA says: If you are biracial and born in a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs darn near 2 years and 3 major speeches to "get to know you." If you're white and from a state not connected to the lower 48, America needs 36 minutes and 38 seconds worth of an acceptance speech to know you're "one of us."

If you give your wife a dap on stage, it's actually a "terrorist fist jab." If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child's hair on national TV it's an "adorable moment." (Seriously, forget about abstinence only, teach these folks some grooming skills).

DTD SAYS: If your pastor rails against inequality in the United States of America, you're an "extremist." If your pastor welcomes a sermon by a member of Jews for Jesus who preaches that the killing of Jews by terrorists is a lesson to Jews that they must convert to Christianity, you're a "fundamentalist."

If you're a black man and you use a scholarship to get into college, then work your way up to being the president of the Harvard Law Review, you're "uppity." If you're a conservative and your parents pay your way to Hawaii Pacific University . . . you only have four more schools to attend over the next five years before you somehow manage to graduate (it might be five more schools over the next five years. No one has yet verified whether or not Palin was actually ever registered at the University of Hawaii at Hilo. But, you know how shady people are who ever attended any kind of school in Hawaii).

SeanOcali says: If you're 18, white, and get a 16 year old girl pregnant "life happens." If you're 18, black, and impregnate a 16 year old girl, you're a "registered sex offender."

If you spend 18 months building a campaign around the theme of "Change," it's just "empty rhetoric." If one week before your party's national convention you SUDDENLY make your candidacy about "Change," that's "red meat."

And your last lesson for the day:

If you are a Democrat, an Independent, or even a moderate Republican, if you're female, male, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, bi-racial, multi-ethnic, or GLBT, if you're a Jew, Gentile, Muslim, agnostic or atheist -- "Yes, we can!"

If you're a pitbull with lipstick from Alaska, "Yup, yup"

Stalin Palin

Palin's Problem - Charles Krauthammer @ Washington Post

I knew from the moment that Gov. Palin was chosen for Sen. McCain's VP slot that the blue-blood neo-cons would throw a fit. Krauthammer in particular is one who won't stand for a politician so close to the Presidency who doesn't have the foreign policy chops. This is not to say that Krauthammer would offer praise for Sen. Obama or Sen. Biden after the Palin decision, but it does put Krauthammer in a hard spot. Gov. Palin isn't a neo-con by anyone's definition and if you take a look at the churches Gov. Palin has attended you'll find a gospel of anti-Semitism and general hatred of the Jews.
What Sen. McCain did when he chose Gov. Palin was decide that he didn't need the backing of the neo-conservatives but did need the social conservatives. Problem is, if all you are doing is trying to rally your supposed base then your campaign is in serious trouble. Maybe Gov. Palin will appeal to more than just the social conservatives? Then again, she may turn just as many people away from Sen. McCain. There's nine weeks of campaigning left and one has to wonder whether Sen. McCain's gamble will pay off or break the house.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Live Blogging: John McCain

Was the bio clip selling McCain or coins, because it sounded exactly like one of those commemorative coin adverts.

9:21PM - I feel like I'm stuck in a slow-motion lecture. When McCain pauses for more than a few seconds the crowd goes into chant mode.

9:24PM - Is security that fucked up?

9:25PM - Can the crowd do anything else but chant U.S.A.?

9:29PM - So far, nothing. I'm bored. Where are the pills?

9:31PM - So McCain doesn't know the difference between strategy and tactics. Wonderful.

9:32PM - Vietnam mention: take a shot.

9:36PM - Vague promise of fixing the energy problem. Oh, and back to basics? What the fuck does that mean?

9:38PM - More "no more legislating from the bench" tripe.

9:39PM - Running down the line of rhetorics with no presentation of alternative ideas or how to achieve them.

9:42PM - Education is the civil rights movement of this century? More empty rhetoric. I haven't heard a single specific policy proposal yet.

9:46PM - Attacking Obama on not wanting to drill. Has McCain listened to T. Boone Pickens lately?

9:50PM - Oh God, he's invoking World War II. What next? The Civil War?

9:52PM - Partisan rancor? And who started that again? Pap, pap, and more pap. Oh, and another Vietnam reference: take a shot.

9:55PM - Two Vietnam references: take two shots.

9:58PM - Alright, just start downing your bottles please.

9:59PM - Finally he mentions that "enhanced interrogation" broke him. Keep drinking you bastards.

10:04PM - Now he keeps yelling at people to stand up. And that's that. I'm hitting the bottle again. Must find more pills.