The Get Back Sessions

Oh, since this came up in conversation before the show last night I figure I should put this down in writing before I forget about it again. My sister and I had to explain our rules of dating to an 18 year old girl who is living with us (long story). Of course there are exceptions but that's just how it goes. So, here are the basic rules of dating:
1) If the primary parental figure adores you on first sight (not love, but wants you to start having babies as soon as possible) then run because you're by far the best thing brought home so far.
2) Never date an aspiring anything (artist, musician, writer, whatever). Either you're doing it or you're not.
3) Never let your friends set you up. They'll have a vested interest at that point. Makes for too many people at that party.
4) Never date anyone more fucked up than you are. That's a fine line to walk as you have to find someone no more, but no less fucked up as you are.
5) Never date anyone with an "Oh Shit" aspect of themselves. Like finding out they're an ex-con. That's an "Oh Shit" moment. It's different from an "Aw Fuck" aspect. The "Aw Fuck" comes from finding out something like they lied to their parents about the job they had, then when said parents come to visit, they do everything they can to keep up the lie. Not necessarily a kill shot but certainly a flesh wound. The "Oh Shit" moment, yeah, that's a double tap to the back of the skull.
As stated, there are exceptions, but the rules wouldn't work without them. A close friend of mine has an "Oh Shit" aspect, but she was a different person by the time she started dating the man she would eventually marry. Still, keep these rules in mind when dating someone. They do help filter the people you decide to invest your time in versus dating wasters.