Standing In Love

Fromm on standing in love - Mark Vernon @ Philosophy & Life Blog

This is, quite possibly, the best expression of lasting love that I've seen written. I've always worried about the idea of falling in love because it entails the possibility that such love won't last. As Vernon remarks, this kind of love is a battle against loneliness for one's own ego. Falling in love is as much real love as it is being in love with idea of love. He contrasts this with the idea of standing in love--the point at which love becomes and open love, a love that welcomes everyone in because the issue of faithfulness is never in question. I've experienced this kind of love from some friends of mine who open their house with welcoming arms and let their love shine on you as well. There's no fear of loneliness but only the desire to let their love exist as almost a physical æther.
I do fear falling in love on the basis of the potentiality for my loneliness to return. I don't like loving the idea of being in love since it partially negates the other person, the person you are supposed to show the entirety of your love to. But I still have to risk it if I ever want to arrive at the point of standing in love. It's a sublime love and like anything sublime there's a mix of beauty and horror. Still, I leave myself open to that risk since their's no other path to standing in love.